The Beginning of it all...

Suzi Loves Cowboys

Tue, 30 Oct 2012 22:35:47 -0400

I posted this picture earlier because I was in the nail salon and found it quite ironic.

My mom’s name is Suzi & she met my sperm donor on a ranch in Texas…

I posted it on Instagram without thinking much of it. I got responses like “sounds like you miss her”, “you only have one mom, call her”, “you need to reconcile with her…”

Well people, no. I don’t have to reconcile with her. There’s nothing to reconcile. Put yourself in my shoes for one second.

Imagine yourself growing up with a “parent” struggling with addiction, boyfriend hopping & can’t hold a steady job. Since I was 8 years old I was the parent. I’ve forgiven my mom for not being there, but I’ve also become stronger. Strong enough to know when I need to leave certain people out of my life. I’ve already forgiven my mother for what has already been done. But if I were to have a relationship with her, how many more times would I have to be hurt & let down & forgive her again, and again?

Not to forget, I am not a true parent now. I have a child of my own. I can’t allow my son to watch me stress, worry, cry & fight with my mom. That’s not an example I want to set for him. I’ve been through hell & back with my mom, no need to drag my son through it again.

Anyhow, the second anniversary of not speaking to my mom is coming up, that’s why I posted the pic of the nail polish. Do I miss Suzi? No. But I do miss the idea of having her finally push through and be there for me.

FANS ASK KAIL:

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 19:17:52 -0400

1. @tnf_xo asked: “What is your favorite thing Isaac does?”

Right now Isaac is in a Toy Story phase and he pretends to be Andy and plays with the toys like Andy does. Haha

2. @allix3russo asked: “what is the biggest challenge you face while being a Mom & having a school, career, life?”

Time management is probably the hardest thing right now. I try to spend as much time as I can with Isaac while Javi and I both work and I’m going to school. Then when Isaac’s with his dad I try to do my own thing like go to the movies or sleep!

‪3. @groomsja1984‪ asked: “does all the negative comments ever get to u? I hope not b/c ur an inspiring individual”

As much as I would love to say no, I would be lying. A lot of things I can brush off but there are a select few online that are relentless. They just keep going. It becomes frustrating and makes me wonder what Isaac has ahead of him. I know I signed up for this for all the right reasons but some people can really get into my head.

‪4. @EstradaMayra‪ asked: “do u want more kids?”

I definitely want more kids. I think we’ll know when the time is right. I never got the opportunity to be close to my siblings being that I didn’t meet them until I was 17 and 18. But Javi and Jo are both really close with their siblings so I absolutely want that for Isaac.

5. ‪@heyyheymichelle asked: “what was your first thought when you found out youre pregnant and why did u named him isaac? :)”

My first thought was- this can’t be right… this is probably a defect test… and we decided on Isaac because I liked the name from one of the Hanson brothers and it was one of the only names I could get Jo to agree with me on.

‪6. emilyho00062786 asked: “what is your favorite color”

Purple!

‪7. @Jenn_Kline124 asked: “what is your wedding date?”

We did set a date but we’ve decided not to release it and try to keep it semi-private for now! ;)

‪8. @tousledkitten asked: “Just a simple one, are you happy? <3 x”

I think I’m the happiest I’ve been for a long time. I have pretty much everything a person could ask for. Isaac’s happy, healthy, he has a huge family that loves him, I Javi’s love and support & his family, in school and working! :o)

‏‪9. @KelseyHoward2 asked: “Had you’re relationship with your Mom always been so awkward??”

Yeah, unfortunately I don’t think my mom ever really knew what being a mother meant to she always went with the flow. I find it beneficial to me now because I know what not to do.

‪10. @KenzieGraeber asked: “how long have you and your fiancé been together?! ‪#cutestcouple”

Jose and I have been together for a year. :o)

‪11. @Laur3nCallender asked: “how long have you been growing that mane of yours? I love it! ‪#longhairdontcare”

I donated my hair when I was in 8^th grade I think so I’ve been growing it since… maybe 6 years by now?

‏‪12. @hayleyfry asked: “what’s the hardest part of being a “single”, young mom? Even though we know you have support from ‪@Javim9:) “

Finding the time for everything!

13. ‏‪@pmcookie28 asked: “what are ur wedding colors?”

We have a few schemes in mind but none written in stone yet!

14. ‏‪@I_am_Katie_06 asked: “Do you have a good relationship with jo?”

Jo and I are always up & down. But right now we’re ok, I’ll let him know what’s going on with Isaac and he’ll do the same when he has Isaac.

15. ‪@LurayK_Xo asked: “‪#AlwaysWantedToKnow what are you going to school for?!”

I’m in a dental program! Hopefullly one day I’ll be DR. Marroquin

16. ‪@MontanaMerritt asked: “what made you realize what you have with javi was different than with joe?”

I don’t think it was a matter of them being different. I think it was more or less that Jo and I didn’t work out and we’ve both come to terms with it. I wasn’t looking for anyone when Javi came around, we met each other at a really good time for both of us.

17. ‏‪@i_love_pitbulls asked: “first I wanna say you are an amazing mother… And second how did you meet Javi?”

Thank you! :o) Javi came into Buckle ( a store in the mall ) While I was working and I actually turned him down at first. Hahah But he won me over!

18. ‪@Countrychick524 asked: “Who is your favorite female country singer?”

I looooove Carrie Underwood! :o)

19. ‪@susythestar asked: “are you learning Spanish from Javi or did Jo teach you?”

Jo never taught me Spanish, I think I always knew more than he did! Hahah Just kidding. I took 6 years in school and then with Javi’s family I’ve learned a lot. :o)

20. ‪@samanthaesposi6 asked: “do you regret anything in your life ? Would you change anything ?”

I don’t regret anything in my life so far! I try to look at everything in life from a learning perspective. Things haven’t been easy but I don’t want to put myself in a position where I miserable now for things that I can’t change.

Love, Life & Chaos

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 17:59:59 -0400

The year 2012 has been nothing but good to me. I’ve met some amazing people, Isaac is growing like a weed and learning new things daily. He absolutely loves Toy Story, I think he has every toy in the movies. It’s so cute. Isaac has to have his toys with him at all times though, when we get in the car, he likes to make sure he has every toy with hime. Hahah

When we get in the car, I always play Carrie Underwood’s Blown Away album and Isaac recently started singing along to the songs too, lol! At least he’s jammin’ to some good music! Pretty soon I’ll be looking into pre-schools for him! It’s so crazy to think about- I still remember being pregnant and not knowing where I would be the following year.

I recently started working with a booking agent to help start speaking at schools about teen pregnancy prevention and such. I also enrolled in a dental program and have been working really hard.

This past year, with everything going on there are, of course, internal things that I deal with and don’t really show so on the positive side of that I’ve started to do some good things for my own mental and physical health. I starting seeing a therapist, doing co-parenting sessions with Jo and I starting private boxing lessons today! These things are all new to me, but I have learned that there are resources to help people, if we are willing to put forth the effort to find them!

ANDDDDD! Last but certainly not least, Javi asked me to marry him! I am officially engaged! :o) We don’t have any official wedding plans yet but I couldn’t be more excited about planning a wedding!

I know I am really young but I’m not getting any younger. I’m finally at a place in my life where I’m happy (for the most part) and have been with a guy who compliments me and makes both Isaac and me happy.

I do wish, however, that certain people who have doubts or dislike for me would just keep their opinions to themselves. Being in the public eye has proven to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with. I know this is a free country, freedom speech and such but at the same time, what’s the point in spewing hate at people? I am a real person, with real feelings. Some times I can just say whatever, they don’t matter but other times it’s hard to just keep seeing negativity when I’m just trying to be happy!

Anyway, that’s my update! Hahah

Tattoo Removal

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 15:46:28 -0400

Yes, I’m currently going through tattoo removal at 20 years old and I’m writing this to set the record straight!

First & most importantly, I LOVE tattoos. I have nothing against them, although, I do believe that a person getting them should thoroughly think them out… and for a while.

I, personally, woke up one morning and decided I would get a tattoo and place it on my collar bone. I love the saying- “Pride Over Pity” but I do wish I would have thought about it a little bit longer so I could have picked a better place for it.

I have other tattoos which I love and don’t see myself thinking about removal for those. But they were also thought about over months & months.

Anyway- I am seeing Dr. TattAway for about 9 sessions, about 30 seconds each, over the course of about 1 year.

If you’re in the Lehigh Valley and are thinking about tattoo removal as well, check them out! They are very friendly & don’t judge!

PROGESS & BEFORE & AFTER PICTURES TO COME!

Fun Day! <3333

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 16:47:27 -0400

In high school I met one of my really good friends so we went over to visit Kim and her mom! Isaac had a blast and Ellen, Kim’s mom, was able to capture the fun! <3 Thank you!

Firsts This Summer!

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 11:59:09 -0400

So happy to have been able to capture some of Isaac’s “firsts” this summer!

We’ve got his first soccer ball & cleats, him shooting hoops and FINALLY getting his Jeep outside to drive!

Isaac & Javi go for a ride at Dorney Park!

Just reading in the waiting room! Proud mom! <33

Bear & Isaac have a love/hate relationship right now… but that’s just because Bear has outgrown Isaac. They’ll be BFFs in no time! <3

At a friend’s house! He’s just waking up… & yes, he’s a momma’s boy.

Kail Meets Javi

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 12:45:08 -0400

A few people on Twitter have asked how Javi & I met. So instead of tweeting the same thing all the time I decided to give you a little play by play! Hahah

Here we gooo-

So I’m working at the mall, the store Buckle, and Javi and his brother come in. I assume his older brother is his dad & that gets us laughing, Javi lies to me about what he was shopping for… So I eventually learn that he hates graphic tees.

At check out he asks to take me for ice cream and I tell him no, lol.

Hard to see that looking back I turned him down! Anyway, from there he came into Buckle again and we started forming a friendship via Twitter and Buckle visits. :o)

Eventually, I gave him my number. ;)

Adding to the Fam!

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 11:22:25 -0400

As if a baby isn’t enough we decided to add to the household.

Since I moved into my new house in January we have added:

Leo the turtle (previously Javi’s but decided to give it to Isaac)

Bear the Rottweiler

& Pitbull & Naked (rescued kittens)

We have also had birds but decided they weren’t a good fit & re-homed them to Javi’s cousin.

The stickers are missing a turtle and short one kitten but this is what Javi surprised me with yesterday when I woke up! :o)

Who says brides with half sleeves can’t be beautiful?!...

Thu, 24 May 2012 21:37:14 -0400

Who says brides with half sleeves can’t be beautiful?! This will be me one day. <3

People need to open their minds a little!

#TattooedBrides #OpenMinds #TeamTatted

Bucket List Summer 2012

Wed, 23 May 2012 11:56:14 -0400

Wed, 09 May 2012 10:13:32 -0400

NOH8

Wed, 09 May 2012 09:48:57 -0400

Maybe I’m late, but this morning I get online and find out that North Carolina voted to ban gay marriages.

I’m frustrated, more than frustrated by this. It blows my mind how people can vote to essentially ban people from being happy. Because SOME people don’t agree with gay relationships North Carolina as a whole bans gay residents that happiness of marriage?

“Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.” -Abraham Lincoln

I’m not gay, but I have no right to tell someone else they can’t marry whoever they love. This is 2012, accept diversity already.

I did some research and I’m shocked by the 61% of residents who backed up the amendment. There are tons of things people don’t agree with but that doesn’t mean we’re going to change the law to suit everyone’s desires.

This topic really hits home for me. Because this is not an “issue”, these are people voting on other people’s PERSONAL lives. Not only do I have friends who are gay, but family too. And knowing them as people, real human beings, has helped me become more open minded to so many things. But the point is, they are STILL PEOPLE, WITH REAL FEELINGS. Same sex couples should not be denied their right to happiness and freedom because other people voted for it…

Just another random fact:

The last time North Carolina put an Amendment regarding marriage in their Constitution was 1875, when they banned interracial marriage.

I think this fact alone says enough about many people in North Carolina.

You DON’T have to agree with me on this matter, but that’s what’s so great about America. We’re all entitled to our own opinions, own beliefs & we should have the right to love whoever we love.

One last thought- We don’t vote on heterosexual marriages & “rules” and “regulations” heterosexual couples need to follow so WHY should straight people get to vote on what GAY people can & can’t do?!

Prom- the night Isaac was conceived. I want to feel as good...

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 11:28:17 -0400

Prom- the night Isaac was conceived. I want to feel as good about my body now as I did then. Using these pictures as more motivation. 30 days left. Let’s goooo!

#Insanity

Insanity Progress: Day 30

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:53:02 -0400

Through all my frustration and feeling overwhelmed I’ve been hitting the gym and working on the Insanity 60 challenge with my boyfriend & friends. From day 1 I’ve asked Javi and my friends to help keep me motivated. When I don’t feel like working out, they push me. I know this isn’t ideal and that’s not their job but I’m so thankful they’re so supportive. I’ve heard after doing something new for 21 days it will become a habit. Even now, they push me and I’m FINALLLLLLY seeing results. This picture may be kind of ballsy because I still don’t have “that” body & I’m still not as skinny as society expects me to be. But these are my day 1 & day 30 pictures. Down 11 lbs so far.

Love it or hate it, I’m proud of myself right now and I am determined to have the body I really want.

Chaos at Kail's House

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 09:57:40 -0400

Lately, I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed it’s not even real. I decided to write everything here because I figured, maybe, at least one person could relate.

I have school, work, a 2 year old and my puppy on a daily basis… that’s fine. I signed up for it. But then I mix in homework, bills, cooking meals, CLEANING, laundry, etc. And I feel like I can never get everything done in one day.

I’m done with school by 3 Monday, Wednesday, Friday but by time I get to homework I am still trying to watch the puppy and Isaac at the same time. My house has looked like a tornado has gone off for the past two days and looking at it makes me more crazy. Going to the gym helps relieve whatever is on my mind but I’m usually not getting to that until midnight if my boyfriend will stay here for an hour while Isaac sleeps.

The semester at school is coming to an end and I have recently started feeling like I’ll never be finished. I have changed my major 3 times in hopes that I will find something I really like and can see myself doing for a long time… but it seems that every time I get one class that is harder than my others, I drop it. Not because I can’t do it, but because I feel like I don’t have that extra time to try. Maybe that sounds awful but whatever. I already feel like I can never finish everything by myself so I would feel terrible asking someone to watch Isaac a little longer or something while I go to tutoring or try to do homework alone. AHHHHHH, I’m just so frustrated and starting to feel discouraged with the whole school thing. Sucks because it’s the one thing I always told myself and everyone I was going to do.

I understand all of these responsibilities are my own problem. I’m just venting about trying to organize them in a way where it works for me. :)

Oh, not to mention, I have people on Twitter telling me I don’t know what exhausted is because this girl goes to a university and has two kids with her husband.

Last time I checked I’m a single parent, go to school, work, have cameras in my face while I struggle, etc. (This is not me complaining, just proving a point that I am tired).

Since when did life become about arguing who is more tired anyway? I seriously wonder what goes through people’s heads sometimes… then again, they probably wonder the same thing about me.

Ok, now I’m just going on about things that nobody cares about, thanks for reading some of the bs that I have in my head. ;)

March 2012

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 12:52:56 -0400

This week in our house-
Isaac started saying “de nada” and last night he asked me to draw bugs with him… while I was trying to do my Spanish homework of course!

I think you're so beautiful <3

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:08:11 -0500

You’re beautifullll!

February Scentsy!

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:07:27 -0500

kailhasscents.scentsy.us <3

Sign up for Scentsy in February and get more in your starter kit for no additional cost! Just want to buy? Perfect! Scentsy products are 10% off for the month of February!

P.s. I’ve made the option to buy and sign up for Scentsy in Canada! Anddddd, you can sign up under me (to sell) in Ireland & the UK!

Do it while the deal is still hot, more for your money! GO!

<3 kailhasscents.scentsy.us

#NOH8

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 17:46:32 -0500

#NOH8

Photo

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 17:46:08 -0500