I'm Kail.
A lot of the time, you'll catch me in a daze because I'm not entirely sure where I'm at, in life, right now. I like simple things yet I never find myself to be entirely satisfied. I find joy in helping other people, I like to donate & I'm working on the 'go green' thing.

I can honestly say I do not regret anything I've ever done in my life because at one point it made me happy. I've learned so much about who I am in the last 2 years. & I know looking back I could have done things differently but I also know that I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for all the choices I've made. I'm learning to let go of things that won't matter a week from today. Life is too short to hold grudges and be unhappy. My life continues to be an emotional rollercoaster but I'm doing my best for everything I've got. My son is my motivation. I go to school & work. I'm doing everything I have to in order to achieve all my goals. After being a part of 16 & Pregnant & Teen Mom I've learned to not judge people the way I used to. & I'm also learning not to care about the negative things people say. People will talk about me no matter how much I am in the public eye.

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Suzi Loves Cowboys
 I posted this picture earlier because I was in the nail salon and found it quite ironic.
My mom’s name is Suzi & she met my sperm donor on a ranch in Texas…
I posted it on Instagram without thinking much of it. I got responses like “sounds like you miss her”, “you only have one mom, call her”, “you need to reconcile with her…”
Well people, no. I don’t have to reconcile with her. There’s nothing to reconcile. Put yourself in my shoes for one second.
Imagine yourself growing up with a “parent” struggling with addiction, boyfriend hopping & can’t hold a steady job. Since I was 8 years old I was the parent. I’ve forgiven my mom for not being there, but I’ve also become stronger. Strong enough to know when I need to leave certain people out of my life. I’ve already forgiven my mother for what has already been done. But if I were to have a relationship with her, how many more times would I have to be hurt & let down & forgive her again, and again? 
Not to forget, I am not a true parent now. I have a child of my own. I can’t allow my son to watch me stress, worry, cry & fight with my mom. That’s not an example I want to set for him. I’ve been through hell & back with my mom, no need to drag my son through it again.
Anyhow, the second anniversary of not speaking to my mom is coming up, that’s why I posted the pic of the nail polish. Do I miss Suzi? No. But I do miss the idea of having her finally push through and be there for me.

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